The Hearing Aids I Brought to Recess

Mrs. Lund called me at 8:20 on a Monday morning in April, and the first thing she said was my daughter’s name.

Not hello. Not good morning. Just “Amanda, it’s about Emma,” in the careful voice teachers use when they have already decided how to say a hard thing.

I was standing behind the front desk at the dental office with the second line blinking and a patient’s insurance card in my other hand.

I set the card down. Kim, who does our scheduling, looked up from the schedule and saw my face and stopped talking.

“Emma isn’t wearing her hearing aids today,” Mrs. Lund said. “I asked her where they were, and she said her stepmom has them. She said she gets them back on Friday.”

For a second I honestly thought I had heard her wrong. That is the kind of joke the world plays on you when your child is hard of hearing.

You start doubting your own ears instead of the thing you just heard.

“Friday,” I said.

“That’s what she told me. She said it was for talking back at supper on Saturday.” Mrs. Lund paused.

“We had our spelling test first thing this morning,” she said. “I read the words out loud like I always do. She sat there and cried through the whole thing. She couldn’t hear a single word, Amanda. She wrote her name and then she just put her head down.”

I put my free hand flat on the desk. The counter was cold. I remember that, and I remember the little bell on the front door going off as Mr. Peterson came in for his nine o’clock cleaning half an hour early, the way he always did.

“I sent her down to the nurse once already,” Mrs. Lund went on.

“Not because she’s sick,” she added. “Just so she could have a quiet minute. She came back and sat in the front row and watched my mouth the whole time I was teaching fractions. She’s working so hard. She’s exhausted, and it’s not even nine o’clock.”

“Thank you for calling me,” I said. My voice came out flat and polite, the voice I use for patients who are behind on their bills. “Thank you, Mrs. Lund. I’m going to fix it.”

“I didn’t know if I should call you or her dad,” she said. “You’re both on the card.”

“You did right,” I said. “Give me a couple of hours.”

I hung up the phone and stood there in my light blue scrub top with my gray fleece zipped to my chin, because the office is always freezing in the morning, and I tried to decide what to do first.

Kim came around the desk. She has worked with me for six years.

She has two boys of her own and she knows Emma, because Emma does her homework in our break room on the afternoons when the sitter cancels.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Kendall took Emma’s hearing aids,” I said. “Over the weekend. As a punishment.”

Kim’s mouth opened and then closed again. She did not say anything for a moment, which for Kim is a long time.

“Took them where?” she finally said.

“Home, I guess. She’s keeping them until Friday.”

“She can’t hear without them,” Kim said, as if I might not know.

“No,” I said. “She can’t.”